G-Day finally arrives....and my biggest fear is realized

Mood: A little disappointed but not defeated. 

Music: Ice Cream Paint Job; my roomie’s CD wound its way into my car when she borrowed it last week and I’ve been jamming to her hip-hop beats.  I was really hoping that my theme song would be “All I do is win” by DJ Khaled but today’s results provided that, well, that song might have to wait.

Musings: Most people in line at the test center are entirely way too relaxed.  Maybe its because I live in the PNW, and a test center in Manhattan might have a very different atmosphere.  Then again, it's probably because not all of them are there to take the GMAT (I'm pretty sure I was the only one).  Among the tests Pearson VUE offers include "Florida Auctioneer", "DC Board of Funeral Directors" and "North Carolina Bail Bondsman".  I'm kind of curious as to the actual test you have to pass to be a certified, legitimate auctioneer; I've been told I talk way too fast and figure that might be a viable career option if B-school doesn't pan out.  :)

G-day has finally arrived!

They need to start making these SomeEcards for the GMAT...

After what seems like months of preparing, panicking, mini-celebrating, and a whole range of emotions, G-day finally arrives.  I spend the final days reviewing my weak spots (still data sufficiency and certain word problems) and take my last practice test Sunday morning, at 8am with timed breaks so I can get used to testing early morning and score a respectable 720.  I know that much of the advice has been to "rest my brain" before the exam.  I take it relatively easy on Sunday, attending a co-workers baby shower, grocery shopping and catching up with a friend on the phone for an hour, but I still felt the need to be immersed in GMAT - historically speaking with studying, this is how I've always been.

So this morning I get up early, shower, eat, put on yoga pants (elastic waistband makes all the difference!) and a red sorority t-shirt (for luck).  After receiving text messages of support, Facebook wall posts and even an E-card, I had some amazing support and I'm very thankful for the great friends that have put up with me during this time.  As I hit the freeway my mind alternates, dancing between thoughts of Vegas and the test.  Part of me wanted to just be done with the whole thing and the other part of me already started to miss the GMAT.  If I can make a bizarre analogy - it’s like that eccentric, slightly annoying family member that comes and stays with you for an extended period of time (think cousin Cody on Step-by-Step), but after a while starts growing on you because you are forced to spend so much time with them, and when they are gone you are wondering how to fill the void in your life.  Hah.

I arrive at the test center 30 minutes early, which is a rarity since I’m usually right on time or late, and I spend the time in line reviewing this very helpful guide to writing the AWA – it was the first time I had given any thought to this section, since I've been told it would be a breeze.

Now onto the test itself:  I started with the AWA and emerged very confident.  Both topics related somewhat to shopping and consumers, which of course are right up my alley, and found myself referencing Gilt Group, Netflix, Zappos, Amazon, Yelp, Vogue and Lucky magazine and feeling pretty good throughout.  Took the short break, then headed into Quant.

Oh boy Quant.  This was probably the most random, unpredictable Quant I had ever seen, and more than a few times got thrown off.  Not necessarily hardest, but question types I had not encountered before.  With the exception of the first question, I started out strong, but then ran into some very basic questions in the middle which made me nervous.  I was doing great on time as compared to before, but got bogged down on a few questions towards end and was barely able to finish.  Verbal was not much better, in fact, this was the toughest Verbal I had seen yet, and Verbal has always been my strength.  Usually I rush in Verbal but told myself to slow down.  Perhaps too slow, since I ended up running out of time towards the end and guessed on some final verbal responses, something I had not ever had to do.  The last few questions was a blur, and ended knowing that I had paced myself terribly.

By the time the 30-minute experimental section for the upcoming 2012 GMAT rolled around, I was a ball of nerves. I knew for experimental purposes I was to try my best on the questions, but I was mentally drained.  Side Note: If the GMAC really thinks that test-takers are going to put in 100% effort on these problems, they are severely mistaken.  If test-takers are going to do a mental marathon for nearly 4 hours beforehand, how can the GMAC expect us to take this section seriously when all we want to do is see our score and get outta there?!

More interpreting graphs, charts, I slugged my way through, guessed on some, felt relief that I would not have to take the 2012 version of the GMAT and finally got to the review screen.  I had 2 minutes to decide whether to send my scores or cancel, and for a split second considered canceling.  Then I realized that I had spent $250 and grudgingly clicked on through to the result screen.

A great visual of how I feel...my results don't accurately reflect my time spent!

My score? 690 (88%) with a 47Q (76%) and 38V (83%).  My biggest fear had come true, I was stuck at the 690-mark.  How did the timing get to me again?  I had resolved that if my score was in the low 700’s, I would stick with it and move on to my application.  My last two scores were 720 and 750, before that a combination of 710's and 690's so I wasn't entirely surprised.  But this was a score that I did not think accurately reflected my test-taking capacity and preparation, but instead encompassed my nerves and lack of pacing.

On my drive home, I was determined to schedule a retake.  Yes, I would have to drag it out an additional month, and yes this might mean less time on applications (Round 1 is a little under 2 months away) but did I really think that I would only take it once?  I took the SAT three times, and drastically improved my second time (1420 to 1530).   Some people thought I was crazy then, but I knew I had a better score in me after I completed the first time.  (If you are wondering why I retook the SAT after the 1530, no I was not a deranged perfectionist in high school, but I had scheduled the 3rd test before I took the 2nd test, so I figured oh what the heck.  Needless to say, my score went down, which I definitely want to avoid here.)

Back home, I immediately Googled "retake 690" to see what the recommendations were, and to see if I was crazy for retaking with that score.  Apparently this is a dilemma that is plaguing lots of people, as evidenced by the forums and blogs.  To retake or not to retake?  690 is a pretty frustrating score for most, just because it is right below the 700 cut-off.  Yet I truly believe that whether retaking is the right decision differs for everyone, and can think of good reasons for both.

The advice was all over the board, but I have condensed it and made it applicable to my situation:

Reasons why I should retake:

• I know I can do better, I spent a lot of energy preparing. I want my score to be a reflection of my efforts
• What do I have to lose?  According to many, schools only care about the highest score, even though they may frown upon taking 3+ times (which I do not plan on doing)
• I took the SAT 3 times. Different tests, different circumstances, but I did my best the second time.
• Retaking, or even debating whether to retake with a sub-700 score is not that uncommon, as evidenced by the plethora of forum and blog postings. I am totally a "what if" kind of person, and would kick myself if I didn't try just once more.
• I was a bundle of nerves and ran out of time in both sections. If I can get my timing down, I will be fine, in addition to now knowing the testing center setup.
• The schools I am applying to (top 15) are highly competitive and only take the highest scores, with averages around 720.  While I'm in the 80% range, I think my chances improve if I'm at the average instead of below it.
• My college grades are average but not stellar.  Though attended a top-10 non-Ivy university, I was in the middle of my class and majored in a social science, not a numbers-heavy discipline.  With respect to the quantitative component of my application, I want to have a GMAT score that will at least make up for some of what my GPA lacks.
• Apparently some employers ask for your GMAT score.  While I’m certainly not looking to go into Finance or I-Banking, some of the top Management Consulting firms ask for the GMAT on the resume and it could be a hindrance down the road, even if I do make it into my dream B-School.

Reasons Why I should NOT retake:

• Could spend that time writing essays, working on the rest of my application.
• Other parts of my application are strong, including work experience, leadership and extracurricular activities and I feel like I can put together solid essays. 
• $250 can go a long way  5 hours in Vegas :)
• I would need to take another vacation day for the exam, since weekend slots have filled up, which I would love to save up for actual vacations.
• I've been looking forward to getting the rest of my life back in place after the GMAT. Oh well, what’s another month in the grand scheme of things?
• Of course, there is always the possibility that my score could go down, and that might reflect negatively. 

Was I overly confident heading into the GMAT? Not as much confident as ready, since I felt like I had practiced sufficiently, though the quality of my practice is up for debate.  For the GMAT, there is a margin of error of +/- 30 points.

Where do I go from here?  I'm a pretty positive, optimistic person and really think I need to keep moving on, but most importantly, I should probably start on the applications, especially the essays.  To get organized, I'm putting together an Excel spreadsheet of where I am planning on applying, with the Essays prompts and starting essay outlines.  I really didn’t want to be writing essays at the same time as my exam, so I will schedule the retake as close as possible to the 31 day mark.  I'll be meeting with my study buddy "H" and plan out application strategies.

My friends are excited to be seeing me again, and of course I am looking forward to being more social, though I'll still be hard at work to make the R1 deadlines.  After Vegas this weekend, my travel schedule picks up again starting next week for two weeks and before I know it, it will be GMAT time all over again.  This time, I plan on not letting my nerves or the test pacing get the best of me :)

Can't lie...I'm kind of excited for this!

Alright, heading out to turbo-kickboxing class (it's been too long!)

-Mango

I am seriously doing a happy dance right now.

This is going to be a really [relatively] short entry, because I am dancing around my living room at the moment.

The title of my posting says it all.  After a long day at work, I decided to head over to visit home.  My sweet mom offered to cook dinner for me during the final countdown week to G-Day - she refused to let me subsist on microwave dinners and take-out, and I have a hard time turning down a home cooked meal or food of any kind :) .  

After my CAT exam performance this weekend, I resolved to keep practicing and to not be disappointed.  So I went home, took a nap for an hour, reviewed the problems I missed on the last CAT exam, ate dinner, and sat down on my computer to take yet another timed practice test.  Working through the test, I felt the same familar panicky feeling setting on as once again, I was running out of time on quant.  I took some deep breaths and grudgingly moved on to take my best guess at some questions when I realized I wasn't going to be able to solve the answer in less than 3 minutes.  When it came to Verbal, I decided to take my time and went through each question slowly.  Before, I usually had 5-7 minutes left, but this time, I resolved to stare at the screen until I was absoutely confident in my answer.  After what seemed like forever for the exam, down to the last second in Quant and with a minute left in Verbal, I finally finished, feeling dread at seeing my Quant scores.


The result?

750 with 48q and 45v! Oh yeahhh!!!

Emotions: shock, happiness, hope, relief.  Can this be replicated on G-Day with the addition of the experimental section and AWA?  Was it because I was well-fed and rested and wearing pajama pants?  Or because on the bus ride to work this morning and home, I poured through the MGMAT Sentence Correction book instead of playing Angry Birds?  Whatever the reason, I'm intent on keeping it up in my next practice exams and hopefully that will transfer over to the real thing.


Going to catch some sleep...but I feel like I have a renewed energy for the next four days leading into G-Day!

Still dancing,

Mango

Getting down to the Wire (Good thing I didn't start watching the show, I've learned my lessons in procrastination from college)

Mood:  Inspired. Just co-facilitated a workshop today on multidisciplinary 21st century skills.  If you haven't deduced yet, I work in consulting in the educational sector :)  After sharing this TED talk by Sir Ken Robinson to highlight the importance of inventive thinking, I was reminded again of why I'm in the field of education, why I hope to remain here long-term, and why there needs to be change especially in the approach and organizational structure.  This is a rant best saved for another blog entry, but it is something that I'm quite passionate about, and hope to shape it into a running theme of my B-School essays.

Music: Revisited my Jack Johnson Pandora station.  It reminds me of last spring when my best friend and I backpacked (we like to call it flashpacking) through SE Asia and would put Jack Johnson on in the evenings while were sitting in our cabanas, looking up at the stars.  Those flashpacking trips (we've covered Puerto Rico, SE Asia, Mexico, and most recently, Brazil) bring me back to when I was truly carefree and removed from the crazy realities of life.  On a bus once, we asked our driver to put on our iPod.

His response?  "As long as its not that awful Jack Johnson or John Mayer sh*t the backpacker kids always make me play!" to which we responded, "Uh...no. It's Britney :)"

Remote Ko Lipe Island in Thailand...the best 2.5 weeks of my life :)

Random Musings:  I've just updated my LinkedIn page, started connecting with my clients, and am trying to pull all my different social-media identities on the web into a central location, through an "about.me" page.  I figure about.me is the quickest way to summarize what I am about, almost like a virtual business card! 

With 1 week left, the pressure is building!

In the past, when I have had to cram for exams, I've always found reasons to procrastinate.  Case in point: My sophomore year, I had stayed away from all the hype surrounding Grey's Anatomy until finals week when I was looking for a distraction.  That came in the form of McDreamy, McSteamy and during those fateful few weeks, I crammed while watching almost an entire season.  Two years later, it came in the form of Pac Man on Facebook.  Amidst writing final papers, I perfected my Pac Man strategies and wound up as one of the top 50 players in the world, my profile proudly displayed on the winner circle.   That week I received a flurry of messages from Pac Man fans all over, friend requests, some asking for pointers while others had more uh, odd requests.  They're pending in case I am ever in need of a self esteem boost, ha!

Surprisingly, I've avoided getting hooked on any new TV show or achieving champion level of any games (though I'm so ready to get back into bar trivia nights!).  I chalk this up to maturity, and of course, my job.  Last week, we had our quarterly, all-day firm-wide team meetings where I was catching up on work in the evenings, which is generally reserved for GMAT.  Last Tuesday afternoon, I was looking forward to getting in some much needed time with permutations and probability, my greatest weaknesses in Quant, when I was shooed along to a company-mandated associate dinner.   It was like a family reunion, with many of my out-of-town co-workers coming back and we had a blast indulging in delicious PNW food,  sending drinks back and forth, and catching up.  As much as I wanted to socialize afterward and go karaoke with the group, I knew that studying was the wiser decision and I couldn't give my best rendition of "Since U Been Gone" knowing that my GMAT books were probably thinking the same thing about me.

Of course, this past weekend was dedicated to more studying. After taking another practice test on Sunday, my score went down to 690.  When I saw that score, I panicked. What is going to happen, am I doomed to be hovering around the 700-mark, not knowing if I would go over or under? I know that 700 is the big hurdle to jump over, but I didn't want to just hop over it, I wanted to clear it with a lot of breathing room.  So I decided to analyze my test scores, and direct my focus to my weak spots.  Since I had purchased the Manhattan GMAT set, this provided access to 6 practice exams online. I could take each exam multiple times, and I had two others from the GMAC, so I did not need to worry about running out of exams to take.

Here's the crazy thing - I've worked through much of the GMAT OG, Manhattan GMAT series, as well as Kaplan and Princeton review guides.  I placed sticky notes on each page detailing the problems I got wrong and right.  I timed myself on individual problems from the books and generally stayed under 2 minutes for math, close to 1 minute for writing.  Why was I doing well in practice problems but not so well on the Exam?  Why am I coming out confident but missing almost half of the problems?  I've come to realize that a lot of it is just due to the nature of the test and testing - I have a terrible time pacing myself in Quant and need to be better at distinguishing when to complete and when to skip problems so I don't get trapped at the end. 

So.  Crunch time counting down to test day, a week away.  My goal? Take a practice test daily leading up to G-Day.  A little extreme?  Nah.  I am determined to conquer and be comfortable with the test!

Yes, those are Sentence Correction post-it notes stuck on my door :)

To close, I'll admit I'm a huge fan of success stories and happy endings.  When a hero faces an obstacle and over comes it despite their shortcomings.  Well. I'm definitely no hero but the GMAT is a beast.  I remember referring to the application process as a marathon not a sprint. The GMAT is a huge mental marathon. And all the practice problems are like mini sprints.  Looking back, I should have spent equal time on my test-taking abilities, as those have declined as well.  Knowing the information is one thing, but being about to pound it out problem after problem and while your confidence is eroding?  That takes instinct, resolve, and of course, practice.

Steve Prefontaine is a great hero where I'm from.  This was one man who embodied charisma, confidence, and endurance, not to mention he really knew how to rock the 'stache ;).  "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift"

I know my best is somewhere in there... Let's hope it comes out when it really counts!

Less than a week until G-day!!

Mango

PS - A recent incident (aka realization that I am reaching my quarter-life mark) prompted me to reflect on what I hope to accomplish by age 30.  As determined as I am to attend B-School, I don't want that to be my only significant accomplishment in the second half of my 20's.  As I post entries, I hope to add to the 30 x 30 list and hopefully that will reveal a little more about my aspirations outside of my career, and my personality :)

to start...

30. Give a TED talk about something I can claim some sort of expertise in (outside of Pac Man). Inspire others. Make them chuckle.

I'm pretty Keane on bringing up my GMAT score!

Mood: Caffeinated (Drinking a mocha at 9:45 pm at a local non-chain coffee shop. Proud I'm supporting our local small businesses!)

Music: Melodramatic piano rock. My attempts at studying last weekend were slightly hampered on account of our house being taken over by a group of snowboarders (acquaintances of my roommate) from Tahoe who were crashing with us for the weekend.  They blasted Gucci Mane, drank my mango lemonade and left our living room smelling questionably, but they were very nice and before leaving, cleaned the entire house while we were at work.   I retreated to our deck armed with the OG to the GMAT and revisited my Keane Pandora station which I had not listened to in quite some time, but am getting hooked on all over again!  Lesson learned: there are bound to be distractions beyond your control, so find other places of refuge if needed.

Random Musings: I've just joined Google+!  Facebook is my social networking addiction of choice and I'm not sure yet how I'll use Google+ and the "Circles" feature ...we'll see if this takes off or goes the way of Google Wave

One sentence summary of this posting: I'm making progress on my GMAT studying!

As I was studying today, I heard the familiar chime of a new email.  Except for this time, it wasn't coming from my iPhone, it was coming from my iPad.  I received a new iPad 2 from my company for the purposes of "increasing productivity".  Now that I have one, it's become my constant companion and I'm continually finding new uses for it (just downloaded some GMAT apps).

My room mate was hosting a friend's bridal shower at our place so I had to find a quiet place to study.  In my city, this is more difficult that you'd think..  Ruled out the neighborhood bars and restaurants (why be tempted by microbrews and tasty food while I study? See beef jerky incident of the April 18th posting).... library was closed, too dark outside... so I drove down to a cute dessert and coffee place that was open late.  Besides the occasional and startling banging of the espresso scoops, this is a decent place to camp out.

So back to the chime...email from GMAC reminds me that I am only less than a month away from my exam, which I am acutely aware of.  Nope, it's not just the neurotic post it notes stuck around my room - "Age is just a number but 720 is not!"  "(insert top school name here) or bust!"  "You can do it!"  "6...5...4...3....more weeks of social suicide!" I've found myself canceling dinner plans, postponing planning a historic pub crawl with my young professionals organization, adios gym and kickboxing classes all so I can fit in 3 hours of studying a day 3 weeks before test. Training for a half marathon? That can wait too, I'd rather chase a good score :)

I was beginning to think that this was all in vain...until I reached a breakthrough this weekend.  On my third practice test, I broke 700! 710 to be exact, up from 630 the first time and 660 the second time.  It was quite the exhilarating feeling!  Sure, that is still lower than my target score and I took the test in sections while skipping the AWA but I plan on soon taking a practice test mimicking the actual exam for a more authentic experience.  Seeing that score flash up on the screen was reassurance that I need to keep trucking along, and I reminded myself that it can only go up if I keep up the pace.

This progress is very encouraging.  If anything, it's comforting seeing that getting my priorities straight while sacrificing "fun" is really going to pay off. I'm not necessarily talking about going out on weekends, but rather summer activities that I've been looking forward to, as sunshine and lack of rain here is a rare treat :)  I'm skipping out on a big rock climbing adventure with our interns, road trips and, most importantly, working on my Vegas poolside physique (ha) in exchange for that glimmer of hope of decent score.  


My friends have been understanding and encouraging, though I'm thinking of ways to be less awkward when explaining to coworkers who are in the dark about my MBA plans why I can't attend happy hours and work related social functions... I can only see the dentist/optometrist/psychic so many times in a 3 month period!  As balanced as I am and as much as I value symmetry ( I AM a Libra!), I wholeheartedly acknowledge that the GMAT is tipping the scales (pun intended) and I'm okay with that. Deep down I KNOW I know this stuff, I've learned it before and I was fairly good at this, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure I'm giving it my 100% effort, to the best of my abilities!

Here are my strategies to studying which I believe have been helping:

1.  I now attack every critical reading passage with the fervor of reading a new Cosmo issue - a guilty pleasure but admittedly entertaining.  I head into every passage as if it is the most interesting thing I've ever read, an approach recommended by Manhattan GMAT.  Gravitational Pressure of Terrestrial Environments? Heck yes! Bring it, "How to tell if He's Lying/Cheating/actually more interested in my guy friends" has got nothin' on you!  Attitude is key, feigning interest is a must if I'm to stay awake during this part of the exam, the highest likelihood of zoning out.  Hey - I figure if I'm not feigning interest in random guys that approach us at the bar, I might as well be doing on the GMAT reading passages :). Also, summarizing as I go has been helpful as well as mentally recording the authors main point. 

 "I had to pay for my own drink...one woman's horror!" Yes. these magazines are ridiculous.

2.  Data sufficiency - AD or BCE.  I write this down on the page and it helps, as well as avoiding the temptation to look at B while working on A. Cover that sucker up!  For the sake of speed, I'm memorizing the cube root of numbers and practicing long division.  Ultimately, the more practice I have, the more familiar I am with questions and hopefully they'll feel like like second nature. 

3.  I'm getting better at recognizing sentence corrections errors and even found my emails at work have improved.  Subject-verb agreement, pronoun modifiers, I know I'm making success if it's impacting my life outside of the GMAT.  I'm picking apart logical assumptions in the news (yes, Michelle Bachman I'm looking at you) and focusing on the information at hand.

4.  Being comfortable with the different strategies to tackle problem solving questions: picking numbers, algebra, or drawing pictures. I know what works for me and am always pleased when I can find the answer quicker and in a more straightforward manner than in the back of the book. Take problem 8 on page 51 in the GMAT Official Guide for example - their approach was a drawn out process of solving through algebra- I instead chose numbers and was able to quickly and confidently find the answer!

 

Meet my best buddies :), they follow me everywhere!

In other news, this week at work has been a great deal of fun - I've been presenting at workshops attended by a wide range of our clients, both international and domestic and have gotten great feedback.  As a part of the workshops, we are helping clients develop tools (podcasts, PowerPoints) to bring back and share with their colleagues what they've learned and where they are hoping to go.  I spent today directing a podcast with a Late Night talk show theme (think Letterman, Leno), and we filmed one scene at a nearby hotel.  Yes, 6 people heading into a hotel room with video cameras and a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door is definitely questionable, but I assure you our video is appropriate for all audiences.  :) It's times like these where I love my job, the spontaneity, the ability to tap into my artistic and analytical sides, the diversity of clients I work with (clients from Singapore, Utah and Texas) and the creative products that emerge, inspiring others to be better at what they do.

 considering wearing one around my neck

I'm notorious at work for creating some uh, quirky podcasts that play off of existing videos (Where else would this happen if not at the Sasquatch music festival here in the PNW?)   Helping clients create these resources has led me to believe, even more strongly, that the way a message is delivered to an audience is often equally as important, if not more, than the content of the message.  Similarly, an approach to studying for the GMAT that is complimentary to my learning style (adequate practice, set schedule, making it fun, positive reinforcement) is crucial to absorbing the information.

Less than 3 weeks before G-day! Wish me luck. My best friend "A" is also taking the New York bar this coming week, wish her luck too!  Heck! Let's send good vibes to everyone sitting in a GMAT test center, earplugs in place and dry erase pens tapping away!

Until next time,

Mango

Ps. This posting was entirely drafted on my iPad. Dear Steve Jobs:  Thank you for creating a product that, even though it sounds like it belongs under my bathroom sink, I'm quickly realizing I cannot do without!

Getting back on the proverbial horse...

****Posting from the plush comfort of the Las Vegas Airport*****

Mood: Determined (to get back on track)

Song: What the Hell by Avril Lavigne (keep reading on...)

Random musing(s):   

As annoying as having a 3 leg flight back home from Philly, where I was at a conference this week, the positive is that it makes my Frequent Flier accounts happy!  Flying direct would perhaps take only 5 hours, but I earn 4812 miles (doubled by airlines).  With the 3 legs, I get more mileage (6452 total to be exact)!

As you might have deduced...I'm kind of a procrastinator and have been handsomely rewarded for my bad habits :).   I did some crafty sleuthing for this last minute flight and searched two one-ways on Orbitz, (much cheaper than booking a round-trip on Orbitz), fiddled around with filters, then booked this ticket through eBates which gives me cash back for shopping.   The result? A red-eye out and this crazy route through Vegas back for less than I was originally planning on paying.  What else was I going to do? Blog? Sleep? Study? Angry Birds? I can do that on the plane with an endless stream of beverages!  Apparently there are several websites to help you calculate the potential miles when choosing plane tickets, if you are interested in that sort of thing ;)

Dear Friends, Family, and random readers of Por Que MBA:

I have a confession to make: I've not been good.  The other day I was driving in my car to the gym and Avril Lavinge’s latest song came on: “All my life I’ve been good but now, oooh I’m thinking what the hell”  I won’t get started on her lyrical abilities or her "relationship" with the Hills "star" Brody Jenner (Really? Matching tattoos?) but this song struck a chord with me, no pun intended. 

Taken into the context of my B-School preparation, I’ve not been good as I was with my preparation, and am seriously thinking, what the H--- is going on because I need to get back on track!  Since my decision late last year to apply, I’ve been so focused, up to the point of constant immersion with B-School dreams and information.  Unfortunately in last month or so, my preparation has weaned and my GMAT studying has been minimal. 

There are several things to blame (myself first and foremost), in no particular order of significance:

5. Travel schedule, consisting of on-site client work/conferences/workshops during the day and catch up at night.  With the last month, my schedule has been totally caddywhompus due to some last minute business trips, which where snuck onto my calendar.  My study schedule, especially with study buddy "H" had gotten off kilter and it has been difficult to stay focused. My boss has assured me that July will be slower in terms of travel, where as last July I was on the road 3 out of 4 weeks.  I remind myself that the last time he said that, I flew out last minute to Singapore shortly after.

4.  Distractions in social life; spending time with friends/people of the opposite gender and a sudden spike in out of town friends visiting and staying with me.  I've resolved to tourniquet these social distractions...we'll see how well it works!

3. Doubt! Other than being a fantastic movie in my DVD blue ray collection which I have yet to watch, doubt is an incredible deterrent from preparing, and throughout the process, reasons to not apply have kept coming back.  The price tag of the education is pretty steep, which can’t be ignored.  Timing for going next year as opposed to later, where I can build up additional experiences.  All the reasons referenced in previous posts.  I’ll probably continue coming back to this, but even as I have committed to at least APPLYING, doubt is like crack to my procrastination.

                       This is what I felt like before....but replace "World" with "GMAT"

2. No set deadline for taking the GMAT - it is hard when you have an amorphous amount of time to prepare.  I will continue this thought below...

1. LIFE.  You will always find some other excuse to get occupied.  In all honesty, for a short period of time, I was loathing studying because it was so discouraging, I kept forgetting the same basic math concepts relating to exponents and number theory.  I got simple questions wrong, and I had the hardest time getting back into good study habits.

Then I read this Poets & Quants article, which correlated increased GMAT Scores (10 pts) to a rise in salary ($3,000).  I'm usually skeptical about these things and am not obsessing about graduating salary at this point, but I realized the overall message - the better you do on the GMAT, the better your chances are of getting into your dream school (regardless of how high it ranks or selectivity) and then the better your odds are of getting to that dream job.  In the scope of things, prioritizing GMAT studying for a few months could yield great results.  Besides, when I put my mind to something and I do well, the satisfaction makes it all worthwhile!  I know I might have slacked recently, and tend to be hard on myself for these sorts of things, but it's not too late to get back on track.

This brings me to my latest dilemma. I recently had a positive performance review in which my company highlighted areas where they want me to play a greater role in.  Recently, an opportunity has emerged with an open, "unclaimed" region in our client portfolio;  an exotic international region which I’ve had longtime interest in.  I’m contemplating asking my supervisor to take over that area; I currently manage one of our largest East-Coast portfolios.  In turn, I could possible share my current region with another new associate and mentor them.  Obviously my work load will be much heavier, but will the rewards be worthwhile?

The dilemma lies in how to balance my current and future workload, "distractions" of any sort and GMAT prep.  I think this is something that other MBA hopefuls also struggling with – whether to take on added responsibilities that might propel us to higher levels, challenge us, increase confidence from our supervisors, and that offer a diversity of learning experiences to draw from, but juggling that with GMAT/B-School preparation.  When I’m not working, I feel like I need to be studying, and often when I’m on the road my work/personal time boundaries are blurry. 

Meaning, getting back to the hotel after a long day of on-site work, I can either catch up on work that I’ve missed during the day, study the GMAT and work on B-school research, sneak in a workout or soak in the hotel jaccuzzi.  All while watching CSI Miami in the background, though its hard to multi-task with David Caruso’s one liners :)

                                 check out this new place in Philly - you won't be disappointed!

Case in point: this past week, I’ve been working the conference and my Monday consisted of conference craziness 8-6, updating team notes 6-8, dinner with co-workers 8-10 at delicious Barbuzzo , and catching up on work from 10-midnight.  The next day, I woke up for a 6:30 a.m. Webinar presentation to a new client in Bahrain before hitting the conference again. 

Where was GMAT studying in all of this? Embarrassingly enough, absent, much like my patience for spotty wireless, dang you AT&T mobile card!  The last thing I want to do after working all day is crack open the GMAT book, even though its staring at me from my hotel nightstand.

Two take aways:

A:  Standing on your feet in heels all day is a pain.  LITERALLY.  I proudly admit I’m a shoe girl and I love my heels.  Bring two pairs of shoe and rotate out, as the pain is from pressure points on the foot which would then be distributed.  Different shoes impact different pressure points, and that should help alleviate the pain.  

B: Find ways to stay motivated about the application process and remain immersed in B-School thoughts.  I try not to lose sight of these goals.  Through my networking at the conference, I met several educational entrepreneurs which I plan on following up with, and a graduate of Kellogg who currently works there.  Speaking with them provided me with an idea of what I can do with the MBA and kept me reminded that I need to keep moving forward. During the breaks, I would check the GMAT flashcard app on my phone from Veritas Prep and Beat the GMAT.

I guess the biggest news to share, is that….*drumroll please*….for the indecisive girl that procrastinates like crazy… I've FINALLY signed up for the GMAT!  The magic date is August 8^th - I feel like this needs to be made into a fridge magnet like the “Save the Date!” wedding ones that I’m starting to receive, and passed out to my friends for them to stick on their fridges.  This way, they can be reminded of the duration of and why I’m going into hiding and that their attempts to flaunt anything entertaining or time consuming will be flatly rejected.

Frighteningly enough, that’s less than 5 weeks away!!!!  However, I've realized that the only way for me to truly be serious and focused about studying is to have a date set on the calendar.  That way, I can see the end in mind and work towards it intently.

I’ve cleverly scheduled the test on Monday.  I originally was going to do it on a Friday but my study buddy “H” so astutely remarked that it would be wiser to schedule on a Monday so that I could spend the weekend studying, instead of stressed out from working.  I take the test at 8am on Monday, and those who know me know that I'm definitely not a morning person. Uh oh.

Here's the best part: That Friday, I fly to Vegas with my room mate and a gaggle of our girlfriends to celebrate our birthdays - her’s is in August, mine is in September.  My actual birthday is close enough to Round 1 apps that I plan on having a cupcake and mai tai shipped to the public library where I’ll be holed up battling writer's block, rules banning candles and alcohol be damned!  It will be my very first time in Vegas...I've never had a strong desire to go but I figure it will be shortly after the GMAT and I'll either need to celebrate, or make some terrible decisions so that I can feel better about my score. Ha.  Just Kidding. I'm starting to panic as it really is, crunch time.  

My strategy for the next few weeks will consist of:

1. Taking a practice test weekly, in the similar environment as the testing center.  Actually follow through with Analytical Writing a few of the times, use the CAT that Manhattan GMAT and the Official GMAT offer, use earplugs and mimic the testing center conditions.

2. A dedicated study schedule that will follow, as closely as possible, 2 hours on week days and 5 hours on weekends.  I have the entire Manhattan GMAT series to work through.

3. Detailed analysis and drilling of my weak spots.  So far, it's still Data Sufficiency, anything with probability and permutations, Sentence Correction here and there.  Finding a way to stay alert through those dreaded Reading Comprehension passages.

I have a 5 day weekend for this 4th of July and was planning on camping at the Coast, but fully intend on using most of the time to catch up on studying.

I hope to be updating this blog more frequently as I near the first round of application deadlines!

As I post this from the Las Vegas airport amidst the clanging of the slot machines, I leave you with two questions and a request for your thoughts / advice:

1. Would you recommend taking on additional responsibilities at work to grow, knowing it could cut into that precious study time or use that time to focus on GMAT and B-School preparation?

2.  How do you stay focused on GMAT preparation, and study strategies, when there seems to be distractions all around?  

Thank you all for reading!!  Seeing the increase in traffic to my blog is definitely encouraging, and being featured on one of my favorite MBA websites, Poets and Quants is huge honor.   I hope to keep you all inspired and entertained as we schlep our way through this journey called applying to B-School!

Running to catch a flight (as always),

Mango

The MBA application process is a marathon, not a sprint. It's a good thing I did cross country in high school, even if it was for the pre-race pasta dinners

In the spirit of my old Live Journal postings, I’m going to begin by posting a mood, song, and random musing.

Mood:  Spent (both physically and pocket-bookey, I did some major damage at the mall this past week/weekend!)

Song of the moment:  Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas

Pet peeve: Outlet Hogging: when people in airports take up 2 outlet plugs for their laptop and iPhone, when they only need one and can charge their iPhone through their laptop, thus freeing up the extra outlet for someone else (I thought I was ingenious in coining this term, but apparently it already exists)

It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog, but I think my time has been spent pretty wisely.  I’m currently blogging from the Wichita Airport in Kansas, where I was working with a client today.  Yes, my work takes me to some pretty random places, and this is my second time in the lovely state; the first to an even more remote town that only had one stop-light.

Surprisingly, I have really enjoyed Kansas this time around.  Upon my arrival, instead of checking out the largest corn dog or the most significant hill, I headed straight to the malls and stores.  I needed some retail therapy after my dismal first practice attempt at the GMAT on Saturday. 

Luckily, I have not run into any tornadoes, though I did have a run in with some pretty awful sushi last night which is comparable in my book. I know, what was I thinking, sushi in Kansas?  Needless to say, I’ve learned my lesson.

The way sushi should be. Hungry yet? :P

Right now, my main focus is getting my GMAT scores up.  At one point early on in my MBA research, I Googled "predict GMAT from SAT".  Silly, I know, I just wanted to see if there was a correlation.  Apparently there is not, though I distinctly remember the musings of one forum poster: “Take your SAT and divide by two”.  He should have said, “Take your SAT, divide by 2, wait just kidding, you’ve been out of school too long and forgot your basic concepts, minus 200, and add some self-despair."  Hah.

I said I would be honest on this blog and update on my progress, so here I go. After 2 weeks of pretty persistent studying (here is a gal who has not hit the books since college) which includes 2/hrs day during the week days and 5/hrs a day on weekends, I decided I was ready to take a practice CAT test downloaded from the GMAC themselves, I figure it has to be legit as I am getting it from the source. 

The application process is starting to creep into my life (and in a few months, will overtake my life) in some crazy ways.  Out at happy hour Friday night, I called out a friend on an unstated assumption (critical reasoning, baby!).  I’ve become that girl at the gym that ellipticals and runs (pun intended) through GMAT flashcards.  In the morning when I wake and before bedtime, I try to look at the essay questions posed by my amorphous top 10 list of schools and think if I have new revelations or stories.  I don’t think I’m obsessive, but I know that there’s a steep hill I need to climb, I'm a little late to the game, and once I set a goal, I’m going to pursue it doggedly until I get it :)

So my friend from HS who I will nickname “H” is also prepping for B-School, and we have decided to be study buddies.  Saturday morning, we hole our selves up at the lovely public library with their study rooms.  For as much $ as I pay the library in taxes (and fines), I need to make use of all their amenities.

To quote Haley from “Modern Family”, “I thought that was a bathroom for homeless people”.

To quote an expression from another show: 

Well.  Yes, but the public library is so much more.  You see, we have one of the best library systems in the entire US in my dear PNW city.  I grew up on public libraries and university libraries.  The library was where I hid out and read "Sweet Valley High", "Babysitter's Club" and "Encyclopedia Brown" as a child, a favorite high-school hang-out (I fully acknowledge my nerdy past), my source for SAT prep, and now I return to the same familiar section for the GMAT material, after occasionally perusing the graphic novels section for The Adventures of Tin Tin books. Don’t laugh.

But then I decided to get serious…and bought the Manhattan GMAT series.  Of course I refused to buy it full price from the official site – that is one of my main tenents of life Don’t pay full price when you don’t have to which is next to Don’t order sushi from a state that is as physically far away as possible from a major body of water. 

So I go through the test, panicking and forgetting most of what I had studied and not pacing myself.  Math problems take me much longer than I had thought and I blank on the shortcuts I had memorized and number properties.  I try to outsmart the system, trying to figure out whether my questions are getting harder or easier, to see if I am doing better or worse. It is the most nerve wracking 75 minutes in my recent life,  besides watching the finale of the Bachelorette, Ali Fedetowsky Season 6. (I kid, I kid. But I still have a special place in my heart for Cape Code Chris, the runner-up.)

I think verbal will be easier, it is not. Rats.  Some how, I am being punished for going out the night before (it was one drink!) and my laundry list of transgressions that week (forgetting to turn off the oven again, buying whole non-organic non-sustainable milk) as the verbal section is terrible (harder than the practice sets in the books).  PLUS I nearly doze off as we get into critical reading.  All I remember is something about El Nino and La Nina and getting hungry for Mexican food.

Verdict? 630, 45Q 31V and around the 73% percentile. Uh oh.  Now for some, that is a great score.  For me, I know I can do better.  Standardized tests are my thing, well at least they used to be.  I have a long and sordid past with the SAT after studying much longer than the traditional test-taker - a few years actually. My parents had their own idea of summer fun.  As I had originally aimed to take the GMAT in April, and I just started seriously studying, I feel that I am very short on time. It's just that many of the tricks that I used to use on the SATs (doing all the easy questions first, scribbling on note paper) do not apply to the computer-adaptive GMAT.

According to the forum poster, I should be scoring 765.  In order to be competitive with the top schools, I need to get a 700+, even more with my GPA (more on that in another post). My goal is 724, 700+ my lucky number of 24. I think I can do it.  I KNOW I can do it :).

Lessons I Learned:

• Be alert during the exam, drink some coffee, pop some Trimspa for caffeine. whatever it takes. 
• Do not guess the system, you will invariably lose. It’s like a casino.
• Pace yourself. Quant should take a little more than 2 minutes per question, verbal a little less.  There are always shortcuts, take some time to decipher the question and your approach before diving in.
• Tune out distractions, especially if “H” is cracking their knuckles incessantly. Learn the ways of the basketball players at my beloved alma matter, who would be unfazed as ruthless, unclassy fans (yes I'm looking at you, Maryland and UNC) shouted obscenities in their face while shooting free-throws.
• Finally, eating beef jerky during the exam is a bad idea. It will distract you and make you hungrier.  (Don't worry, I don't plan on snacking during the actual exam!)

To wrap up, applying for B-school is an extremely humbling and arduous journey.  To borrow from others, "The MBA application process is a marathon not a sprint".  I used to think I was unique with my life experiences, achievements and personality and then I stumbled upon MBA blogs, forum posts and I am blown away by what others have accomplished at a young age.  I read student profiles from the top schools of what the current B-School students have done pre-MBA and post, and I am wondering how I can compete both intellectually.  A part of me is slightly jealous that they have accomplished all AND look so polished and stress-free in their pictures (effortless perfection, a term coined at my undergrad is my first impression!  Photoshop is my second!)  The other part of me, is encouraged, impressed, and relieved knowing that the people that may someday lead our country in the public and private sector have passions and values that are more meaningful than just making dinero.  Call me naive, but reading each of their profiles, I believe that there is something more that makes them tick, something that motivates them to be successful that is greater than themselves.

Then I am reminded that our only president who graduated from B-school (HBS, nonetheless) is this guy, God Bless his soul:

And I am reassured of my ability to be competitive intellectually ;)

******

Alright. I’ve arrived in Denver International. Time to see what delicious airport dining options await me.  I have a sinking feeling that It’ll be Sbarros or Quiznos, neither of which are very appealing right now. All I want is a bowl of brown rice and some chicken.

On the bright side, I found out I was upgraded to first on my leg home!  This can only mean one thing: cocktails and quality time with data sufficiency practice!  

Eagerly awaiting my arrival of the Manhattan GMAT Series almost as eagerly as I await new episodes of Modern Family.

Much love,

Mango

(for those of you who are wondering if I’ve really decided to apply, Yes. I did. I just want to make sure that I am doing it for the right reasons, and to be critically evaluating WHY to help me determine my best options.  But now I am thinking of changing my name from “Porque…MBA” to “Okay…MBA!” Cheesy I know :-D

Why apply to B-School? The events of last weekend

When I think back to how I arrived at this decision to apply to business school, 2 key events stand out in my mind. 

Numero Uno: Halloween 2010. I was dressed up in a home-made costume as a certain creature from my country of origin, and I happened to talk to the only guy at the party not wearing a costume.  I was unenthused, which takes a lot (c'mon, what kind of person cannot find a ratty t-shirt, pair of khakis and belt, a random purse lying around, sunglasses, fake plastic baby, grow some facial hair, and go as Zach Galifianakis from the Hangover?) but intrigued because he was wearing tweed.  

I remember two main things from the conversation.  One was that he kept bringing up his employer (OK i get it. You work for a large, powerful corporation hQ in the PNW. You work with numbers. You like Excel.)  When he mentioned he was in the process of applying for an MBA, my mind started to wander.  Living in the PNW, I do not often encounter people my age applying or giving much thought to the MBA, as the attitude in my city is quite laid back and anti-corporate big-business and mainstream things. 

I had gone back and forth with the idea of an MBA earlier, but never gave it serious thought because I didn't know whether it was a right fit for me.  I'm pretty far from that stereotype of a wall street hotshot iBanker, though I like my suits and power lunches.   I also recalled needing something called "work experience", but I was 2+ years into my job.   Here was some guy who obviously, was not creative enough to put together a Halloween costume, yet he was applying to the top programs?  The tiny competitive side of me that I typically suppress kicked into gear, and I told myself that as soon as I got home, I would start my research.  This began Phase 1 of my contemplation towards applying, involving checking out numerous books from the library, running up late fees on said books, visiting school websites, visiting schools themselves, asking people questions, and doing internet research.

Numero Dos:  Last Saturday, I attended a diversity event at the Stanford GSB, which I had been accepted to several months prior.  I was working overseas for the last two weeks and unsure if I'd be able to attend in time, as my flight arrived home late Thursday night, and generally being very indecisive as to the point of not making travel reservations.  On the trans-pacific plane ride back, I made up my mind that I needed to go.  Friday morning at 8am, I check the Delta Skymiles website to see if I can redeem my miles. What would have cost 45,000 miles when I checked weeks ago now only cost 25,000. Was this a sign? I think it was!  Rental car was only $39 including taxes...this was looking pretty good.  Friend in Bay area is cool with me crashing on couch? check!  12 hours after booking the ticket, I was headed to the airport directly from work.

I was counting on this experience to help me decide, once and for all whether getting an MBA and getting one now would be the right timing.  It's silly to think that one day can really sway you towards one direction or the other, but this experience did not fail to deliver.  From an amazing alum speaker, to student panels, a joint degree program that was a perfect fit, a lively class experience, super cool alums and just being on campus, I was wooed. The opening presentation hit me hard right away - innovation. idealism. Do you want to change the world? "Yes that's me!" I wanted to jump up and say, and probably about 90% of the other attendants did too....the coffee had not kicked in for the other 10%.

I guess when it comes down to it, I had three main reservations:

1. How will an MBA help me in what I want to do?  My background is in education and I've always dreamed of running an educational organization, but I wasn't convinced that an MBA was the RIGHT path for me; it was just one route of many.  BUT it was a darn good one.

2. $$$ and time. Calculating the ROI and wages forgone, I estimated I was giving up two years salary and adding another two years tuition & costs, a grand total of, in my mind, close to $300,000. Could I get to where I wanted without the MBA and living as a starving graduate student?  I heard horror stories from Readers Digest as a young, impressionable child and did not want to subsist on cans of tuna for two years.  I had become accustomed to the life of nice things, travel perks, and eating un-expired food.  BUT I guess I have my whole life to enjoy those things ;)

3. Leaving my job and the PNW. As those close to me know, I love my job dearly. I love what I do, I love the ideals I hope we're working towards, and I love my company and co-workers and clients. BUT something inside of me is convinced that this is not the right place for me long-term, and my industry is so niche that I'm unsure of whether I'd be able to easily and successfully transition to another career in a different field.  

So that all seems a bit gloomy, until I pondered the 3 reasons why an MBA and NOW would be right for me on the plane ride to California

1. No matter what, an MBA will open up doors for me. Regardless of what job I pursue, it will teach me how to manage PEOPLE and RESOURCES.  If I ended up working at a school, it would help. If I ended up directing a non-profit, it would help.  If, somehow, I end up in Corporate America, well. Let's just say I'd have one more thing to chat about over lunch in addition to college basketball.

2. I've been working at my company for 3 years, 4 when I apply. I've had some amazing experiences, but it will be much much harder to leave when I'm older.  Not to mention there's a ton I want to do before settling down and starting a fam.

3. I miss school. I miss learning, meeting people, exploring ideas, everything that comes with being in school. I'm an experiential learner, while I love to study and abstract concepts, I learn by action, projects and doing. I want to meet equally enthusiastic people who have big dreams of how they will shape the world.   I want to travel the world with classmates, have summer internships again, learn about entrepreneurship, and maybe even attend the occasional theme party (they have those right?)  To be given a problem and be asked to find a solution.  This all sounds a bit idealistic..but well that's me!

So in the 1.5 hour plane ride, which a half hour was spent reading over the case study for the mock class, jotting down notes in the margins (nostalgia!) and highlighting (oh highlighter my dear, I've missed you so!) I came to a realization.  It was a mini-epiphany, one of many I had on the trip.  California is only 1.5 hours away. It is in the same time zone as my current city.  I could even drive my belongings down, and I would have no excuse to call my mother or friends.  In short, it was really, not that far or distant!

Now who knows where I will end up, for all I know I could end up on the East Coast or Midwest, or even Singapore/France.  If my job has taught me anything, it is that flying is really really quick in the grand scheme of things.  I could be asked to fly out to Asia, book my tickets the next day, and be there two days later (this exact same thing happened a few months ago).  While I may be leaving my dear city in the PNW, its the same thing I've been used to doing on my trips, only this venture would be a bit longer (1 year, 51 weeks to be exact).

The other mini-epiphany I had, in addition to wow, Alaska Airlines is really punctual compared to United and wow, their snack cracker mix is kind of addicting was that I missed, dare I say, studying.  The case was okay - modeled after an Indian tech company but the issue at hand - how to retain their talented employees was fascinating.  I felt a curiosity spark running through, and I couldn't wait for the class.


There were many other mini-epiphanies throughout that visit that culminated in one grand, awesome feeling that I still can't shake.  The realization of all the wonderful opportunities and doors having the MBA could open, as well as an extensive network of like-minded people, who apparently also like to get married (they recounted stories of attending lots of each others' weddings as the one thing that makes GSB unique).  Random coincidences relating to my undergrad alma-mater which made me wonder if this was a sign.  Understanding at a much more heightened level what such programs could offer me, and what I could offer them in return.  In short, I came to understand that people who apply and are accepted into top MBA programs will still do amazingly on their own, no doubt about it, they already have!  Having such a degree and experience just accelerates that trajectory of success, and makes it so much more intense.


Sometimes I chide myself in being impulsive, in buying that crazy pair of shoes because they are marked 85% off and because they could be fun to wear in a few months when it's warm out, in ordering something without knowing exactly what kind of meat (or substance is in it) but because I like the way it smells, and in choosing my cat from the shelter without evaluating all the other options (Samuel if you are reading this, I have no regrets).  But this was one impulse decision (booking the last minute ticket) that was really not that impulsive after all, but a wonderful build-up of events, and perhaps a slight nudging from somewhere (thanks for listening to my prayers, God!!) that will motivate me to get serious about this journey!


So it begins....!!!!