If at First You Don’t Succeed...Skydiving Is Probably Not for You…

Mood: Exasperated. More on this later.

Musing: This post is going to be relatively short.  I know now that I'm pretty terrible at writing short posts, but there is a list of things I need to do this afternoon, which most importantly include:

1. Pack - I fly out to work in Pittsburgh at 5:30am tomorrow for work the rest of the week.  I have invested in this Sharper Image 21-inch upright convertible backpack: 

Cute, but not very functional.

                   Awesome and practical

Granted, I only paid $29.99 from Marshalls, but I love this thing.  Before, I had used a Diane Von Furstenburg suitcase set which was visually pretty and stood out from all the other drab business luggage, but after 2 years of constant use, the handle got stuck and I haven't bothered to fix it since.

2.  Plan - We're throwing a housewarming/bday party (yes housewarming, though I've lived here for 9+ months...) this Saturday and have some major cleaning and decorating to do.  We have a boa theme (feather boas) but my room mate and I are considering getting an actual boa, à la Britney at the 2001 VMAs. Clever, right? :) 

I am relieved to say - I am finally moving on from the GMAT aka Give Money And Time to the GMAC

My GMAT retake was this morning and I resolved it would be my last.  My preparation up until this retake was a little lopsided - I put off studying entirely for the 2 weeks immediately after my first attempt, and studied pretty consistently the next 3 weeks.  I knew that timing was my big thing, so I tried to employ a variety of strategies including pacing myself and not running out of time at the end.

Like the first time, AWA went by quickly and though I had to think and plan longer on my topics this time, I still felt pretty good when finishing.  Moving on to Quant, I started with some fairly easy questions, then moved up to medium level, and for a few that I had no clue how to solve, I gave it my best guess and moved on.  What really scared me was a few easy questions in the middle - was this a sign that I had made simple mistakes earlier?  This caused me to panick and I resolved to keep truckin' along, doing well at the end and finishing with a minute to spare.  When Quant was over, I was slightly worried - I hadn't seen any rate or permutation questions, the ones that I felt solid on, but saw two functions questions, types of questions that I did not brush up on.  I knew something was amiss, but wanted to head strong into Verbal so I only took a few minutes for the break.


The entire time on Verbal I told myself to work at a steady pace, which was my problem the last time.  Halfway through Verbal, I noticed I was short on the time I had budgeted and guessed on two questions in a very long CR passage.  I finished just on time, but thought I had bombed Verbal.  Luckily, I did not have to go through the experimental section this time around and when my results screen finally came up, I put my hands over my eyes, much like you would do watching while The Ring: 


The result? 710 (92%) with 44Q (66%) and 44V (97%).  I had made my goal of hopping over the 700-barrier, but it was more of a stumble and dash at the end, rather then a true leap.

Go figure.  While I'm happy with my Verbal score, the Quant leaves much to be desired.   +20 points is not much, but it puts me closer to the average of the schools I hope to attend.  My only concern now is in the unbalance of the scores - would a school look unfavorably upon such a low quant score? 

Regardless, I really wanted to move on.  Realistically, the most my score could go up is maybe 30 pts, and the 3 practice tests I took over the past week I scored 710, 720, and 730, so I knew it was within my range.  At home, I googled a 44v 44q split and got some interesting feedback - most people said the 710 was a good score, but the split may be concerning to some as the 80/80 percentile is preferred. Gah!

I even wondered for a minute whether I should submit the 690 score because of the more even distribution, but realized how silly that was.  710 is a great score and I really did not want to keep taking this test again and keep forking over the $250.  I have no plans of doing anything finance related, though I'm fairly comfortable with numbers and data as I use them in my job with relation academic performance across schools.  After beating myself up for the split, I realized that I did okay considering I did not sign up for a class and used the Manhattan GMAT guides, OG books and a tiny bit of Kaplan and Princeton review here and there along with the Manhattan GMAT, GMAC and Knewton practice tests.  What did help the last couple of weeks was googling types of questions that I was still unclear on - there's a lot you can learn from random websites on basic math!

Set of GMAT guides, looking for a good home!

I am pretty much convinced that my GMAT tribulations are ending today.  I even re-read through this thread on whether or not to retake, and can't really point out a good reason other than increasing the Quant.  On the drive home, I reflected on the irony of the situation, which should be taken as a sign to move on.  I thought back to My Biking Incident of Last Summer - in an attempt to fit in better in my city (I was not about to get a tattoo and could only take PBR in small amounts), I bought a vintage Schwinn off Craigslist and convinced myself to bike to work. The bike was not really my thing, it was more of a practical move with a 15 minute commute downhill to work.  Riding home in a hurry one afternoon to get to kickball practice, I fell off and busted up my knee, landing in urgent care.  (I still have the scar to prove it, and now have to pose strategically in photographs - ha!)  A few weeks later, my bike got stolen as it was locked outside of my office; granted I had left it there for two weeks while I worked in Asia, but that's besides the point.  Maybe, somewhere the universe was saying that I need to stay off that bike, and maybe, this is an indication today that I need to focus on other parts of my app. This time around, I'm listening.  :)

Pretty much the mentality of my city - less cars on the road and less pollution, I'm all for it!

Hopefully if I can show the admissions committee my strengths in numbers and data in other ways, such as in my job and on my transcript (took a few quant courses, minored in econ), the 44Q will not keep me out of a school.   I also read that if a certain component of your application is low but the rest is stellar, the admissions committee may wave you in but recommend taking additional courses. 

What I am looking forward to now are the school visits!  I have decided not to let living out in the PNW and physically far away from these schools prevent me from visiting, as I know now the importance of the on-site visit. Due to some clever scheduling with working out east heavily in a few weeks and red-eye flights, I will be able to visit Kellogg when I'm working in Chi-Town and Columbia while helping my BFF settle into NYC.  I'm stoked that I'll be able to spend time with friends in both cities, but also thankful for the opportunity to get a better reading of how I will fit in at these schools.  I want to get the most out of my school visits, so that will mean reading up on the programs ahead of time (the two programs that I am least familiar with on my list of prospective schools), compiling a list of questions to ask, and researching which classes I want to sit in on.  

All that Jazz in Chicago?

Or concrete jungle where dreams are made of in NYC?

So what do you think - should I quit now while I'm *slightly* ahead, or take the GMAT once more to see if I can get that Q up?  At the risk of my verbal going down... I truly think my time could be spent in better ways. 

Time to make the most of my "vacation" day from work and to go scrounging for a birthday dress,

Mango

law and order marathons ----> actual half marathon...it can be done!

Bucket list #27:  Run a half marathon, or at the very least, a 10k.   Ran a 5k this past summer dressed as Curious George (to my credit, I convinced my two friends to dress up as the [wo]man in the yellow hat and a banana) and I have been wanting to train for a longer run.   Now that the GMAT is over, this might be good balance with the app-writing process.  Bonus points if the half marathon offers pasta or beer afterwards, or is fairly flat.  :)



****addendum to my last posting: I realized last night that I may have miscalculated my chances of getting into a b-school in my last post, as I had multiplied the possibility of getting in instead of possibility of getting denied.  The actual percentage?  (1-.85*.8*.6*.5*.75*.6*.6*.5) or 97% chance .... I'll take THAT figure with a Morton's factory worth of salt :)

So you're telling me there's a chance... *YEAH!* :)

Mood:  Freezing. After having record highs (close to 100 degrees) in my PNW city this past weekend (passing up optimal outside bronzing time/floating down the river/Warrior Dash for GMAT studying), the weather has returned to normal and it is finally starting to feel like fall.   Unfortunately this means that our poorly-insulated old house in our trendy hipster enclave is going to transform from being an oven this summer into a refrigerator this fall aka, oh heating bill, it's you again.  

Musing:  I am less than 10 days away from turning the big 2-5, aka onset of the quarter life crisis (ha).  This is the final "hurrah" to cross...though not much will change (lower car insurance? yay?)  Part of me starts to panic - there are people who did amazing things by age 25.  Lady Gaga sold 13 million albums, Mark Zuckerberg created and launched Facebook, and I'm pretty sure Shakespeare wrote his first play before he turned 25. 

Then I watched this National Geographic video then this one about there being 7 billion people in the world and felt just a teensy bit insignificant.  

Who doesn't love National Geographic?

I'm definitely very appreciative of all my experiences up until now, but I also want to make sure that I'm taking advantage of all the opportunities that have been given to me and reflective of my choices.  I have always thought, why MBA and why now, but now more than ever, I realize how ready I am at this point in my life to go back to school. The video has been on my mind the last couple of days, and made me think about the inter-connectedness of the world and the potential for combining education + global impact. My international experiences in work and education have been some of the most memorable, and it would be amazing to have the opportunity to work and study abroad.

Moving forward with the application process, I'm now starting to narrow down my list of schools and realistically assess my chances.

First move was to submit my profile to Sandy aka the HBSGuru on Poets & Quants to get his opinion.  I figured if I needed someone to give it to me straight, it would be him.

Here's the profile I submitted, and Sandy's response, which I'm very grateful that he took the time to compile.

Key takeaways:

• Hardest news to hear: "For the reasons you mention–low GPA and lowish GMAT, plus non-blue chip firm—you’re asking them to blink twice or maybe 1.5 times, and they will take someone similar to you with better stats and schooling" Ahh. And there it is - the truth. *gulp*
• Most encouraging news to hear: "I like you, and my guess is, with real solid execution, which should be easy, given how smoothly your goals flow from your experience, you could be real strong candidate at Kellogg, Haas, Yale, and Duke."  *yay!* These are some schools that I am, also, very excited about.
• Alignment with my future goals: "The rest of this is just so solid. A neighbor of mine started an educational consulting company right out of Harvard Ed School, doing what seems like what your company does, and he had an HBS grad working for him." That sounds amazing and right up my alley.
  
• To end: "Explain the grades in some way and stress international do-gooder stories, and write back and tell me you made it to Harvard or Stanford." Check and check, and if I do, you can expect a manuscript :)

So basically what I got out of it was, your chances realistically at some schools are not very high, they care about numbers, but give it your best shot because you have some other things working for you.

What can I control? My GPA is history, and I don't have time to take additional classes now. I can focus on my recommendations, community service and essays, and getting that GMAT number up.

Immediately after I read his response, I felt like Lloyd in Dumb and Dumber shouting out, "So you're telling me there's a chance?!"

Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight!

So without further ado, here are my preliminary list of schools along with the percentage chance of acceptance that Sandy has "handicapped":

• Stanford (joint degree in School of Education): 15% to 20%
• Harvard Business School: 20% to 30%
• Berkeley: 40+%
• Yale: 50+%
• Wharton: 25% to 40%
• Northwestern: 40% to 60%
• Columbia: 40% to 50%
• Duke: 50% to 60%

Using what I learned about probability from my GMAT quantitative prep, the chances that I will get into ONE of the above schools is equal to 1 - the chances I get denied at ALL of the schools multiplied together (ha) or, 1-(.15*.20*.40*.25*.40*.40*.50) = .99976.  Now I will take this figure with a grain of salt...but statistically, I should get into at least one or two of the schools on the list.  I just need to put forth the strongest application I possibly can!
 

It's going to be helpful in breaking down my list of schools in each blog posting and digesting what I have to offer the schools and what they have to offer me in return.  Some might wonder, "Why aren't you applying to more safety/reach schools? The answer being, MBA admissions is not like college where you HAVE to go somewhere so you need "a safety school" in case all else fails.  I applied to maybe 11 different colleges, a mix of liberal arts schools and universities, public and private, in every corner of the US, and had originally planned on going to the school that offered me the best financial aid package.  Due to the generous policies of schools meeting all financial need, I was able to go to my dream school.  

I know business school is not like that, and financing my experience will be another posting in itself, but I definitely only will apply to schools that I feel I would genuinely be happy to attend.   If I don't get in, I'll want to know why and what I can do to improve my profile, whether it is work experience, a higher GMAT score, or better crafted essays and statements.  Not just because it is what a school asks for, but also because I want to be a well-rounded student when I enter. 

I was lucky enough to attend my "dream school" at my undergraduate institution, but am also realistic in having more than one "dream school" for B-School :)

Before I start, it might help to list out what I am looking for in an ideal school "fit" 

• Brand Name & Reputation.  Is that superficial? Let me clarify then - I don't necessarily mean the exact rankings, but one that is well-regarded and a record of taking credit for creating leaders.  ;)  There's a reason why schools have strong reputations - a degree from that institution carries a high value, and the experience and connections are priceless.  On the other hand, I'm not going to apply/choose a school that is ranked #10 just because it is ranked higher than #11.
• General Management Focus, not just finance-y or only known for being numbers heavy, but a school that aims to and has a history of producing real leaders.
• Social entrepreneurship connections - ideally they would be high up on the Beyond Gray Pinstripes rankings for social, ethical and environmental stewardship.
• Most Importantly, school culture and fit - students that are collaborative, positive and PASSIONATE, not just ambitious.  I don't want to be sitting next to students who only want to crunch numbers all day and earn the big bucks on Wall Street (though, I grudgingly admit we may need those people too), but also connected to those who are earnestly wanting to change the world (I mean GLOBAL impact) for the better.  I want to be around people who dream really, really big, and have the drive and talents to back it up.  On the other hand, I recognize that I would gain a great deal learning from those who have different skills than I do, and so what I'm really looking for is a BALANCED student body - one where I would naturally fit in. 

Icing on the cake:

• West Coast Location - okay, that is a definite plus so that I can be close to family, but I will live anywhere. Heck, I'll even suck it up for cold weather. I was raised in Alaska, so I don't mind walking around in a snow suit if I have to.  In fact, that would be probably very fashionably ironic and retro in my current city!  I picked my undergrad school partly based on the sunshine, but this is serious grad school stuff we are talking about here ;)
• Management Consultant Firms recruiting, or track record of sending a high number of students into consulting
• International draw or opportunities for study abroad
• Joint program with schools of Education
• Emphasis on recruiting women or a female-friendly environment, student organizations for women in business, strong female alums
• Fairly young student body - want to be going to school with students that are around my age, similar interests in starting up company and early in career.  Of course having older students to learn from different perspectives is always beneficial.
• Connections to entrepreneurship in general; down the road, I'd love to start my own company/organization.
• Balanced curriculum - I think I can gain the most from curriculum that is structured in that it has a solid foundation of the required basics, but also electives.  I have had a taste of the case study method and I do feel like it is very compatible with my style of learning.
• Oh and a beautiful campus sure doesn't hurt!

There's probably more...but those are some of the most important factors as of now.

So here we go: first school to break down on the list is the first school I actually visited (was in Singapore for business this Spring and coincidentally, was able to attend a Friday evening informational session):

INSEAD aka Innovative, eNtrepreneurship, Sexy (and Socially Impactful), European, globAl, Diverse

Pros: 

• Truly a global business school in terms of curriculum, diverse student body, companies that recruit,
• Highly ranked and great reputation (outside of the US would be stronger than within the US)
• Heavily recruited by management consulting, send many graduates into consulting, but also have strong entrepreneurial ties
• Visited the campus and expressed interest, love that you can study on both the Singapore and Fontainbleu France campuses
• Will only be forgoing one year of salary, though on the other hand, I'm not sure I can get all I want out of an MBA experience in just one year.
• #28 on Beyond Grey Pinstripes for social impact

I love Singapore as a city and living in a french chateau for part of a year could be really freaking charming.  *Pardon my French, literally, because it is non-existent and I'm pretty sure any attempt will butcher the language and result in me inadvertently uttering an expletive.  Case in point: I love the word pamplemousse, and when I first learned the word in High School, I repeated it incessantly, just because I liked the sound.  Little did I know it is also a slang term/insult, and learned that the hard way when I told a native french co-worker of my favorite phrase...good thing they understood my intentions..!

great word. even better great fruit, second only to mangos :)

As much as Insead may fit my interests on paper, I'm not sure the "chemistry" is there.  I didn't quite feel the "click" I was looking for when I attended the presentation, albeit I didn't get a chance to look around the campus or speak individually with many students (talked with a few).  If I may make another one of my far-out stretchy analogies that I am prone to doing, Insead in many ways is like Viggo Mortensen, who embodies what many might consider a "perfect" renaissance man:

Why the sudden Viggo interest?  One reason: Howard Shore's Lord of the Rings orchestra is coming to my city....and the repressed LOTR fanatic in me is very tempted to get tickets and geek out

 You are probably wondering who Viggo is.  Recognize him now?

Oh yeahhh. The orcs have nothing on you :)

Much like Insead, he's got humor, charm, intelligence (he writes books! he paints! he photographs!), is socially conscious (started a publishing house for non-traditional authors), is bold (Aragon! Fight Scene in Eastern Promises!), plus is fluent in 5+ languages (you need to know how to speak 3 languages as a student at Insead), and is undeniably European too, Danish to be exact (cultural differences keeps things exciting!)

But chemistry-wise?  Yep, as dreamy as Aragon is, realistically Viggo is probably (and by probably, I mean definitely) not the guy for me.  There's also that whole age thing, aka he is twice my age (average age of Insead students entering in is 29, I'd matriculate at age 25) aaaand I'm pretty sure that he doesn't even know I exist :). Insead on the other hand - I hope they do - I made sure to RSVP and sign in!

From my visit and looking around at the prospective students around me, and the student panel in the front, my immediate feeling in the room was; I feel SUPER American and SO young - which might not necessarily be a bad thing. Is adjusting to living abroad going to be difficult at the same time as I'm learning 2 years worth of MBA curriculum in one jam-packed year?  Plus a European MBA may be very different than an American one in terms of the doors it opens and connections to students who will probably go on to work globally.  As much as I would love to be an expat for a short period of time, I don't think I would want to live internationally the rest of my life....

In other news, I am now aiming for Round 2.  When I initially started, I thought I would submit to schools for R1, but after spending so much time on the GMAT and traveling for work, things have gotten pushed back.   I don't think it will hurt my chances as much since I've read that many R1 applicants are typically the "traditional" candidates such as Management Consultants or I-Bankers who have others helping coach them through the process, they have everything in top-shape early on.  Hopefully my profile, despite being in "consulting" as the broader industry, would be considered more "nontraditional" or "atypical" and I can still get by with R2.  Plus that will give me enough time to build solid essays and enhance my work/community experiences. 

Okay. Time to snooze.  I can't believe my GMAT re-take is just a few days away...and this time, I really hope it will be my last!

Au Revoir, (one of the only other french phrases I know...)  Somehow I have a feeling I'll be dreaming of Joey learning French from Phoebe..

Mango


Bucket List Continued:

28. Work and/or study in a different country for at least a few months.  Soak up the language, culture and grub.  Challenge myself outside of my comfort zone so that I can be truly adaptable to all situations.  Come away with a better understanding of how I fit into the global fabric and how I can contribute.

Survived an "earthquake", narrowly escaped a hurricane, all to return back to the West Coast, a GMAT retake and B-School Apps!

Mood: Thankful - to be alive and safe! 

Musing:  Flying first class in many ways is like a blind date: You and your seat companion start with drinks, then get served a fairly decent dinner, and watch the same in flight movie separately... and occasionally there's the possibility of an awkward and abrupt good-bye.   


Case in point: I spent the last two weeks working out east, and flying back home last week, I got upgraded to First on Delta which hardly ever happens (It's all about Star Alliance!).  I was seated next to a gentleman who broke the ice by asking me about my thoughts regarding sustainability in a factory environment.  He turns out to be a VP of Nike, and we chat at length as he had also gone to business school, and chose Thunderbird over HBS due to their excellent international program and "fit".  Apparently, back in the day, HBS didn’t even require the GMAT!  We both had some laughs about how things have changed.

2 important pieces from the conversation I remember:

#1: the MBA is a great degree, but I can probably get where I need to be without it.  It's not necessarily the MBA itself that is great, but what you make out of the experience.   

#2: make your essays stand out. He had someone coaching him through it as an international student, and drew upon his unique experiences and international background.

So I'm thinking this is a great networking opportunity and he would be a good resource down the line, but they happen to play "Water for Elephants" and I start tearing up halfway through (not because of the star-crossed lovers story, but because of the animal cruelty, though fictionalized, is still very upsetting) C'mon, it's Edward Cullen and Elle Woods - an odd combination, but it kind of works.  I'm too embarrassed to ask to connect on LinkedIn, especially since I pass out soon after and wake up to the plane landing. 

Music: Still trying to live the great memories of Vegas from a few weekends ago – David Guetta & French House Music

Not a Jersey Shore fan, but a super fun party with DJ Pauly D

I know its been a while since I’ve updated this blog, but I felt like after the GMAT, I just needed some time to decompress and detox.

Of course that happened to be in Las Vegas, where I headed that Thursday night with a group of 5 girlfriends.  Things to bring to Vegas: sunscreen. 5-hour energy. Good judgment. Small bills for tips. Comfortable walking shoes.  Spontaneity. 

Things to leave behind: Children. Significant others. Work. GMAT materials (I did not heed my own advice on the last two and ended up working and reading blogs poolside at our death rays hotel)

After talking so much smack about Sin City “There’s nothing to do here during the day but gamble!” and “It’s just a glorified desert!” I have to admit I was awestruck during the limo ride down the strip.  To my right was New York and to my left was Paris, beautiful resorts and people all around, excess and decadence and so much going on at all hours of the night – perhaps the complete opposite of my dear PNW city.  It was a blur of an amazing weekend – from a party at the Palms hosted by DJ Pauly D, beautiful city rooftop bar views, to free tickets to see Phantom of the Opera by a random couple on the strip, comedy shows, good food, on a roll at craps for 30 minutes (you can call me "Shooter"), and cramming 6 girls into a tiny suite, I all but forgot about the GMAT, yet emerged more motivated again to retake.  

Laying by our infamous hotel pool, I pulled up Poets and Quants, Beat the Gmat Forums, and my email on my iPad.  I started reading comments from others who expressed they were in the same position and were encouraging about retaking, then from others who recounted their own experiences and said I should just move on.  I realized – I’m not a quitter, and there’s no harm in trying.  If I just gave up on the GMAT then and there, without at least trying once more, looking back a few months, I would regret it.  I need to take it again just to know that I tried, and it is still perfectly reasonable to apply R2.  I just scheduled to take the exam on September 19^th, about 3 weeks away.  I realize that my first time taking the exam was in a way, to get acquainted with the test, and now that I know what to expect, I can be more confident heading in. 


I received in the mail my official score report and got a 6 on the AWA - whoo-hooey!!  For someone who was not born in the US and grew up in a non-English speaking household, I feel pretty good about the essays and hope that section will also be stress-free in the retake.

Yep, we had some great views from our suite!

More importantly, I’m really looking forward to the other components of the application, and know that I need to start outlining my essays and asking for letters of recommendations.  The former, I look forward to with great enthusiasm as this is where I will have the greatest control in my application and can let my true personality shine, and the latter I dread, because that means I will have to let my employer know about my intentions of going back to B-School.

Now I’ve said many times that I love my job, and that it has been a perfect fit for me right after college.  Working in the educational sector, lots of travel, and getting to participate in a variety of assignments whether it is facilitating a workshop internationally or strategically planning with Superintendents and Heads of School, I get to tap into my strengths (creativity, interacting with others, presenting, client management) as well as work on my areas for growth (also presenting, client strategy, business development).  My company has implicitly stated that they won’t pay for a graduate degree, a graduate degree doesn’t matter there, and many of my colleagues who have attempted to leave to get their degree were unsuccessful; being wooed back with promotions, $$ and so on.  


Not me - I’m determined to stand firm with my reasons of why I want to go back, but my fear is that my supervisor, a partner of the firm who I have a great relationship with and knows my strengths, will not write me a recommendation, or do so reluctantly.  Though he also has a graduate degree, I can anticipate there will be some tough questions especially since there are also some major organizational changes underway within my company and now more than ever, it would be important to retain the existing consultants.   


My new dilemma is the ask – by nature, I’m a giver and am very eager to help others, whether it’s lending my roomie my car or letting people stay at my place, and can easily ask strangers for things.  I have a difficult time asking at work, partly because I haven’t really had to, as many of my assignments and projects have been assigned, but also because of the fear of the “no”.  I also worry about making my intentions of going back to school known too early, and forgo getting additional responsibilities or promotions, so I will continue to struggle with timing and the approach of “the ask”.  My best bet now is to put together a good packet for my recommenders with talking points, how B-school can help me reach my goals, and give them plenty of time.

 

The last thing I feel like I should mention is, I’m finally firming up the list of schools I’m applying to and realistically, will need to target R2.  Working in DC, I texted a girlfriend from undergrad – she is also applying for the MBA, and while we are on opposite coasts, we will be encouraging each other.  These last few weeks right after the GMAT really convinced me that I need to narrow down my list.  I've submitted my profile to be *hopefully* evaluated by HBSGuru aka Sandy on P&Q and will probably ask a few other consultants of their thoughts, but want to make sure that I have a solid list of schools to work from as I will need to do more in-depth research and connect with students and faculty.

All the advice and blog comments regarding whether to retake the GMAT has been wonderful - it's comforting knowing that others have been in my exact same place and that I'm not paranoid for thinking about retaking or even being a bit frustrated with that score.  I've said it many times and I'll say it again - I'm excited to be a part of this collective, ridiculous journey of applying to B-School and to hear from others that are also a part of it just makes the journey a lot more meaningful, and even more enjoyable.   There is some corny cliche abound regarding "the journey rather than the destination" but I think it does make sense in this case, as I'm learning a lot about myself through these small steps - essays, school research, and of course, even the GMAT :)

Alright, time to hit the sack.  After 2+ crazy weeks of non-stop traveling and on-site client work, 16 hour work days, and eluding natural disasters (was conducting a session in Baltimore when the earthquake hit a few miles south, and driving back to Boston from Cape Cod with gusts from the impending Irene), there's a ton of work to catch up on, practice GMAT exams to get back into, and sleep to relish!

I can't believe I had to leave the West Coast to experience my very first earthquake...!!!

Mango


Bucket List Continued:


29. Join a board of directors for a non-profit. In high school, I was a youth representative on a board of directors for the local chapter of a national non-profit (Camp Fire USA) and learned so much, and was excited that I had some say in the direction of an amazing organization.  While one of my many dreams is to lead a non-profit type organization, being on a board can be a hugely influential role depending on how you leverage it.

G-Day finally arrives....and my biggest fear is realized

Mood: A little disappointed but not defeated. 

Music: Ice Cream Paint Job; my roomie’s CD wound its way into my car when she borrowed it last week and I’ve been jamming to her hip-hop beats.  I was really hoping that my theme song would be “All I do is win” by DJ Khaled but today’s results provided that, well, that song might have to wait.

Musings: Most people in line at the test center are entirely way too relaxed.  Maybe its because I live in the PNW, and a test center in Manhattan might have a very different atmosphere.  Then again, it's probably because not all of them are there to take the GMAT (I'm pretty sure I was the only one).  Among the tests Pearson VUE offers include "Florida Auctioneer", "DC Board of Funeral Directors" and "North Carolina Bail Bondsman".  I'm kind of curious as to the actual test you have to pass to be a certified, legitimate auctioneer; I've been told I talk way too fast and figure that might be a viable career option if B-school doesn't pan out.  :)

G-day has finally arrived!

They need to start making these SomeEcards for the GMAT...

After what seems like months of preparing, panicking, mini-celebrating, and a whole range of emotions, G-day finally arrives.  I spend the final days reviewing my weak spots (still data sufficiency and certain word problems) and take my last practice test Sunday morning, at 8am with timed breaks so I can get used to testing early morning and score a respectable 720.  I know that much of the advice has been to "rest my brain" before the exam.  I take it relatively easy on Sunday, attending a co-workers baby shower, grocery shopping and catching up with a friend on the phone for an hour, but I still felt the need to be immersed in GMAT - historically speaking with studying, this is how I've always been.

So this morning I get up early, shower, eat, put on yoga pants (elastic waistband makes all the difference!) and a red sorority t-shirt (for luck).  After receiving text messages of support, Facebook wall posts and even an E-card, I had some amazing support and I'm very thankful for the great friends that have put up with me during this time.  As I hit the freeway my mind alternates, dancing between thoughts of Vegas and the test.  Part of me wanted to just be done with the whole thing and the other part of me already started to miss the GMAT.  If I can make a bizarre analogy - it’s like that eccentric, slightly annoying family member that comes and stays with you for an extended period of time (think cousin Cody on Step-by-Step), but after a while starts growing on you because you are forced to spend so much time with them, and when they are gone you are wondering how to fill the void in your life.  Hah.

I arrive at the test center 30 minutes early, which is a rarity since I’m usually right on time or late, and I spend the time in line reviewing this very helpful guide to writing the AWA – it was the first time I had given any thought to this section, since I've been told it would be a breeze.

Now onto the test itself:  I started with the AWA and emerged very confident.  Both topics related somewhat to shopping and consumers, which of course are right up my alley, and found myself referencing Gilt Group, Netflix, Zappos, Amazon, Yelp, Vogue and Lucky magazine and feeling pretty good throughout.  Took the short break, then headed into Quant.

Oh boy Quant.  This was probably the most random, unpredictable Quant I had ever seen, and more than a few times got thrown off.  Not necessarily hardest, but question types I had not encountered before.  With the exception of the first question, I started out strong, but then ran into some very basic questions in the middle which made me nervous.  I was doing great on time as compared to before, but got bogged down on a few questions towards end and was barely able to finish.  Verbal was not much better, in fact, this was the toughest Verbal I had seen yet, and Verbal has always been my strength.  Usually I rush in Verbal but told myself to slow down.  Perhaps too slow, since I ended up running out of time towards the end and guessed on some final verbal responses, something I had not ever had to do.  The last few questions was a blur, and ended knowing that I had paced myself terribly.

By the time the 30-minute experimental section for the upcoming 2012 GMAT rolled around, I was a ball of nerves. I knew for experimental purposes I was to try my best on the questions, but I was mentally drained.  Side Note: If the GMAC really thinks that test-takers are going to put in 100% effort on these problems, they are severely mistaken.  If test-takers are going to do a mental marathon for nearly 4 hours beforehand, how can the GMAC expect us to take this section seriously when all we want to do is see our score and get outta there?!

More interpreting graphs, charts, I slugged my way through, guessed on some, felt relief that I would not have to take the 2012 version of the GMAT and finally got to the review screen.  I had 2 minutes to decide whether to send my scores or cancel, and for a split second considered canceling.  Then I realized that I had spent $250 and grudgingly clicked on through to the result screen.

A great visual of how I feel...my results don't accurately reflect my time spent!

My score? 690 (88%) with a 47Q (76%) and 38V (83%).  My biggest fear had come true, I was stuck at the 690-mark.  How did the timing get to me again?  I had resolved that if my score was in the low 700’s, I would stick with it and move on to my application.  My last two scores were 720 and 750, before that a combination of 710's and 690's so I wasn't entirely surprised.  But this was a score that I did not think accurately reflected my test-taking capacity and preparation, but instead encompassed my nerves and lack of pacing.

On my drive home, I was determined to schedule a retake.  Yes, I would have to drag it out an additional month, and yes this might mean less time on applications (Round 1 is a little under 2 months away) but did I really think that I would only take it once?  I took the SAT three times, and drastically improved my second time (1420 to 1530).   Some people thought I was crazy then, but I knew I had a better score in me after I completed the first time.  (If you are wondering why I retook the SAT after the 1530, no I was not a deranged perfectionist in high school, but I had scheduled the 3rd test before I took the 2nd test, so I figured oh what the heck.  Needless to say, my score went down, which I definitely want to avoid here.)

Back home, I immediately Googled "retake 690" to see what the recommendations were, and to see if I was crazy for retaking with that score.  Apparently this is a dilemma that is plaguing lots of people, as evidenced by the forums and blogs.  To retake or not to retake?  690 is a pretty frustrating score for most, just because it is right below the 700 cut-off.  Yet I truly believe that whether retaking is the right decision differs for everyone, and can think of good reasons for both.

The advice was all over the board, but I have condensed it and made it applicable to my situation:

Reasons why I should retake:

• I know I can do better, I spent a lot of energy preparing. I want my score to be a reflection of my efforts
• What do I have to lose?  According to many, schools only care about the highest score, even though they may frown upon taking 3+ times (which I do not plan on doing)
• I took the SAT 3 times. Different tests, different circumstances, but I did my best the second time.
• Retaking, or even debating whether to retake with a sub-700 score is not that uncommon, as evidenced by the plethora of forum and blog postings. I am totally a "what if" kind of person, and would kick myself if I didn't try just once more.
• I was a bundle of nerves and ran out of time in both sections. If I can get my timing down, I will be fine, in addition to now knowing the testing center setup.
• The schools I am applying to (top 15) are highly competitive and only take the highest scores, with averages around 720.  While I'm in the 80% range, I think my chances improve if I'm at the average instead of below it.
• My college grades are average but not stellar.  Though attended a top-10 non-Ivy university, I was in the middle of my class and majored in a social science, not a numbers-heavy discipline.  With respect to the quantitative component of my application, I want to have a GMAT score that will at least make up for some of what my GPA lacks.
• Apparently some employers ask for your GMAT score.  While I’m certainly not looking to go into Finance or I-Banking, some of the top Management Consulting firms ask for the GMAT on the resume and it could be a hindrance down the road, even if I do make it into my dream B-School.

Reasons Why I should NOT retake:

• Could spend that time writing essays, working on the rest of my application.
• Other parts of my application are strong, including work experience, leadership and extracurricular activities and I feel like I can put together solid essays. 
• $250 can go a long way  5 hours in Vegas :)
• I would need to take another vacation day for the exam, since weekend slots have filled up, which I would love to save up for actual vacations.
• I've been looking forward to getting the rest of my life back in place after the GMAT. Oh well, what’s another month in the grand scheme of things?
• Of course, there is always the possibility that my score could go down, and that might reflect negatively. 

Was I overly confident heading into the GMAT? Not as much confident as ready, since I felt like I had practiced sufficiently, though the quality of my practice is up for debate.  For the GMAT, there is a margin of error of +/- 30 points.

Where do I go from here?  I'm a pretty positive, optimistic person and really think I need to keep moving on, but most importantly, I should probably start on the applications, especially the essays.  To get organized, I'm putting together an Excel spreadsheet of where I am planning on applying, with the Essays prompts and starting essay outlines.  I really didn’t want to be writing essays at the same time as my exam, so I will schedule the retake as close as possible to the 31 day mark.  I'll be meeting with my study buddy "H" and plan out application strategies.

My friends are excited to be seeing me again, and of course I am looking forward to being more social, though I'll still be hard at work to make the R1 deadlines.  After Vegas this weekend, my travel schedule picks up again starting next week for two weeks and before I know it, it will be GMAT time all over again.  This time, I plan on not letting my nerves or the test pacing get the best of me :)

Can't lie...I'm kind of excited for this!

Alright, heading out to turbo-kickboxing class (it's been too long!)

-Mango

I am seriously doing a happy dance right now.

This is going to be a really [relatively] short entry, because I am dancing around my living room at the moment.

The title of my posting says it all.  After a long day at work, I decided to head over to visit home.  My sweet mom offered to cook dinner for me during the final countdown week to G-Day - she refused to let me subsist on microwave dinners and take-out, and I have a hard time turning down a home cooked meal or food of any kind :) .  

After my CAT exam performance this weekend, I resolved to keep practicing and to not be disappointed.  So I went home, took a nap for an hour, reviewed the problems I missed on the last CAT exam, ate dinner, and sat down on my computer to take yet another timed practice test.  Working through the test, I felt the same familar panicky feeling setting on as once again, I was running out of time on quant.  I took some deep breaths and grudgingly moved on to take my best guess at some questions when I realized I wasn't going to be able to solve the answer in less than 3 minutes.  When it came to Verbal, I decided to take my time and went through each question slowly.  Before, I usually had 5-7 minutes left, but this time, I resolved to stare at the screen until I was absoutely confident in my answer.  After what seemed like forever for the exam, down to the last second in Quant and with a minute left in Verbal, I finally finished, feeling dread at seeing my Quant scores.


The result?

750 with 48q and 45v! Oh yeahhh!!!

Emotions: shock, happiness, hope, relief.  Can this be replicated on G-Day with the addition of the experimental section and AWA?  Was it because I was well-fed and rested and wearing pajama pants?  Or because on the bus ride to work this morning and home, I poured through the MGMAT Sentence Correction book instead of playing Angry Birds?  Whatever the reason, I'm intent on keeping it up in my next practice exams and hopefully that will transfer over to the real thing.


Going to catch some sleep...but I feel like I have a renewed energy for the next four days leading into G-Day!

Still dancing,

Mango

Getting down to the Wire (Good thing I didn't start watching the show, I've learned my lessons in procrastination from college)

Mood:  Inspired. Just co-facilitated a workshop today on multidisciplinary 21st century skills.  If you haven't deduced yet, I work in consulting in the educational sector :)  After sharing this TED talk by Sir Ken Robinson to highlight the importance of inventive thinking, I was reminded again of why I'm in the field of education, why I hope to remain here long-term, and why there needs to be change especially in the approach and organizational structure.  This is a rant best saved for another blog entry, but it is something that I'm quite passionate about, and hope to shape it into a running theme of my B-School essays.

Music: Revisited my Jack Johnson Pandora station.  It reminds me of last spring when my best friend and I backpacked (we like to call it flashpacking) through SE Asia and would put Jack Johnson on in the evenings while were sitting in our cabanas, looking up at the stars.  Those flashpacking trips (we've covered Puerto Rico, SE Asia, Mexico, and most recently, Brazil) bring me back to when I was truly carefree and removed from the crazy realities of life.  On a bus once, we asked our driver to put on our iPod.

His response?  "As long as its not that awful Jack Johnson or John Mayer sh*t the backpacker kids always make me play!" to which we responded, "Uh...no. It's Britney :)"

Remote Ko Lipe Island in Thailand...the best 2.5 weeks of my life :)

Random Musings:  I've just updated my LinkedIn page, started connecting with my clients, and am trying to pull all my different social-media identities on the web into a central location, through an "about.me" page.  I figure about.me is the quickest way to summarize what I am about, almost like a virtual business card! 

With 1 week left, the pressure is building!

In the past, when I have had to cram for exams, I've always found reasons to procrastinate.  Case in point: My sophomore year, I had stayed away from all the hype surrounding Grey's Anatomy until finals week when I was looking for a distraction.  That came in the form of McDreamy, McSteamy and during those fateful few weeks, I crammed while watching almost an entire season.  Two years later, it came in the form of Pac Man on Facebook.  Amidst writing final papers, I perfected my Pac Man strategies and wound up as one of the top 50 players in the world, my profile proudly displayed on the winner circle.   That week I received a flurry of messages from Pac Man fans all over, friend requests, some asking for pointers while others had more uh, odd requests.  They're pending in case I am ever in need of a self esteem boost, ha!

Surprisingly, I've avoided getting hooked on any new TV show or achieving champion level of any games (though I'm so ready to get back into bar trivia nights!).  I chalk this up to maturity, and of course, my job.  Last week, we had our quarterly, all-day firm-wide team meetings where I was catching up on work in the evenings, which is generally reserved for GMAT.  Last Tuesday afternoon, I was looking forward to getting in some much needed time with permutations and probability, my greatest weaknesses in Quant, when I was shooed along to a company-mandated associate dinner.   It was like a family reunion, with many of my out-of-town co-workers coming back and we had a blast indulging in delicious PNW food,  sending drinks back and forth, and catching up.  As much as I wanted to socialize afterward and go karaoke with the group, I knew that studying was the wiser decision and I couldn't give my best rendition of "Since U Been Gone" knowing that my GMAT books were probably thinking the same thing about me.

Of course, this past weekend was dedicated to more studying. After taking another practice test on Sunday, my score went down to 690.  When I saw that score, I panicked. What is going to happen, am I doomed to be hovering around the 700-mark, not knowing if I would go over or under? I know that 700 is the big hurdle to jump over, but I didn't want to just hop over it, I wanted to clear it with a lot of breathing room.  So I decided to analyze my test scores, and direct my focus to my weak spots.  Since I had purchased the Manhattan GMAT set, this provided access to 6 practice exams online. I could take each exam multiple times, and I had two others from the GMAC, so I did not need to worry about running out of exams to take.

Here's the crazy thing - I've worked through much of the GMAT OG, Manhattan GMAT series, as well as Kaplan and Princeton review guides.  I placed sticky notes on each page detailing the problems I got wrong and right.  I timed myself on individual problems from the books and generally stayed under 2 minutes for math, close to 1 minute for writing.  Why was I doing well in practice problems but not so well on the Exam?  Why am I coming out confident but missing almost half of the problems?  I've come to realize that a lot of it is just due to the nature of the test and testing - I have a terrible time pacing myself in Quant and need to be better at distinguishing when to complete and when to skip problems so I don't get trapped at the end. 

So.  Crunch time counting down to test day, a week away.  My goal? Take a practice test daily leading up to G-Day.  A little extreme?  Nah.  I am determined to conquer and be comfortable with the test!

Yes, those are Sentence Correction post-it notes stuck on my door :)

To close, I'll admit I'm a huge fan of success stories and happy endings.  When a hero faces an obstacle and over comes it despite their shortcomings.  Well. I'm definitely no hero but the GMAT is a beast.  I remember referring to the application process as a marathon not a sprint. The GMAT is a huge mental marathon. And all the practice problems are like mini sprints.  Looking back, I should have spent equal time on my test-taking abilities, as those have declined as well.  Knowing the information is one thing, but being about to pound it out problem after problem and while your confidence is eroding?  That takes instinct, resolve, and of course, practice.

Steve Prefontaine is a great hero where I'm from.  This was one man who embodied charisma, confidence, and endurance, not to mention he really knew how to rock the 'stache ;).  "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift"

I know my best is somewhere in there... Let's hope it comes out when it really counts!

Less than a week until G-day!!

Mango

PS - A recent incident (aka realization that I am reaching my quarter-life mark) prompted me to reflect on what I hope to accomplish by age 30.  As determined as I am to attend B-School, I don't want that to be my only significant accomplishment in the second half of my 20's.  As I post entries, I hope to add to the 30 x 30 list and hopefully that will reveal a little more about my aspirations outside of my career, and my personality :)

to start...

30. Give a TED talk about something I can claim some sort of expertise in (outside of Pac Man). Inspire others. Make them chuckle.